This is a true story. This story explains why I am a disturbed individual. I was in the lunch room of Hackensack High School (somewhere in Hackensack, NJ, USA). I was sitting there and a strange man walked by with two cow heads in his arms. One looked like it had been cut from the neck level (as to be expected). The other head looked as if it had been cut from the mouth. I was in disgust at what I was witnessing. This man had not only defied the laws of nature (you know the one that dictates that no two cow-heads can be balanced on the same horizontal equator) but he also managed to gross out the many females sitting at my table. Well, I am a ladies' gentleman (of course). The strange man walked past us and without a further hesitation, almost in a quick-like trance he turned around and sat down with us. I didn't know what to say to the man with the two cow heads under each arms. The man turned to one of my friends, Lilian Grey. She had been tired from the previous night. She had stayed up studying for the Advanced Calculus exam and was going nuts ever since. The man with the cow heads said to her "Me man. You woman. Me in you. You out me." We thought the man was insane. What did that mean? At this point I was really nervous. Here we were, a couple people sitting at a table minding our own fucking business and this jerk comes over with two bloody cow heads and tries to pick up on my virgin friend, Lilian Grey. Well, I would not have any of it! I turned to the man with the mucous filled, bloody, fleshy cow heads and asked him to leave. I must admit, this is probably the bravest I had ever been in my entire life. But at this point I realized that there was no other outcome to this situation. I had not noticed the people around me, in terms of how they would react to the current situation. I did not realize that people I did not know would actually back me up at this point. At the moment it was almost like I existed a lone person in the world other than the man with the two cow heads under each arm. The man did not even wince and he turned to my other friend, Terry Stockwell. He mumbled something under his breath. He repeated it. Terry looked at me profoundly. To my dismay, Terry leaned in closer to hear what the man with the two cowheads under each arm had to say. The man said "The wind makes me feel important. I am a stagnant man. The only way I move is through the use of these two cow heads. Please take one, beautiful bitch. This will help you move through life." Almost immediately, the man got up. At this moment I knew I would never see the man again and that would somehow leave a hollow hole in my heart. He turned away and dropped the cow head from his left arm (the one that had been cut from the mouth) into my tomato soup. I realized this situation sucked because tomato was the same colour as the blood pooling from the cow head. I stirred the soup and took a sip. And I understood. I understood.